


Inside-Out

by jecrismonamis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse of Angel Powers, Angel Blade, Angel Character, Angelic Grace, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, F/M, Female Character of Color, Female Characters, Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Other, POV First Person, POV Male Character, POV Original Character, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jecrismonamis/pseuds/jecrismonamis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunter Marks is a 20-something hippie, trying to make a statement by roughing it alone in the Canadian wilderness for a year. He found a cabin, learned how to fish and scare off bears and moose, and was doing just fine—-until he got hit by a falling angel named Ariel [angel of nature] and was tricked into consenting to be a vessel. Trapped inside himself, Hunter must make every effort to help the angel get back to heaven, no matter the cost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Me, Myself, and I

There comes a moment in life when the assumed truth becomes a lie, and what was assumed a lie, becomes true. This moment occurred for me one hundred and eighty days since I first set out on my own. 

Shifting my life from the suburban consumerism of Vancouver to the raw survival of the Canadian wilderness was a calling more than a choice. I knew there had to be something greater than the steel towers and concrete swimming pools. Something beautiful that I was missing out on. 

In the middle of November during my senior year of college, I received a call from my parents. My cousins in the States had invited my parents and I down for their Thanksgiving holiday. 

“Ma, I’d really rather not,” I slurred into my mobile phone, tossing a hackie-sack with my free hand. I stared up at the social justice poster above my bunk.

“Now Hunter, your cousin Lara has been dying to see you! It would be rude of you not to join us.”

“Lara’s twelve, Ma. I’m just going to end up babysitting her like I do every year. Besides, she’s not even really my cousin, she’s Don’s kid from another marriage.”

“You watch your mouth! Family is family, and you know that.” 

There was a pause as my mother calmed down. I knew she was plotting something truly convincing, because she let out a stifled sigh.

“Don’s afraid Lara’s been doing drugs. He thinks it’d be good for her to see you, maybe talk some sense into her.”

I said nothing. My mother had either forgotten who I was, or had a twisted delusion that my failures could heal others. I knew that talking to Lara was not going to stop her.

“The breaks not for a couple weeks, right?” I asked. “Just give me time to think about it. I’ve got drafts of my dissertation due in a few days, so I’ll call after that.”

My mother said nothing, but I could tell by her even breathing that she was done fighting me.

“I love you, Ma. Tell Pops I said hi.”

“I will sweetie. God bless you.”

“Uh-huh, okay, Ma,” I said softly. 

I hung up the phone. 

I really didn’t need time to think. If what my mother said was true, then Lara needed to be surrounded by positive influences and people who loved her. Not bookish, drug-using hermits like me. Whatever reasons she had for her actions, that was her father’s responsibility.

I had been thinking about leaving for months. I couldn’t stand the false life I was living. Lara’s pre-mature rebellion wasn’t going to stop me. It took me a few days, but I packed up essentials from my dorm and left, realizing it was now or never. 

I got a ride out of the city from a lovely family en route to Whistler Ski Resort. They embodied everything I wanted to leave behind. This world of pressed shirts and plastic smiles, blow-dried hair, two kids, and a dog. They seemed very kind, but very naive for picking me up. With my dark, greasy mess of curls, patchy five o’clock shadow, and dirty clothes, I was not the safest looking person on the road. Either way, the family--the Allens--gave me a ride to Dream River Park and some food for my way. I hiked with my survival pack for about three days before I came across a hunting cabin in a clearing. It was old, but considerably stable. Definitely something I could hunker down in for a while. 

It didn’t take long before I fell in love with the home I had made. I fixed up the holes in the walls and laid out some rugs I found stuffed in a closet. As time went by, I decorated with rocks I had found at a nearby stream, as well as bones from my first few hunts. The solitude made me feel so wonderfully alive. It was a blessing. Never in my life had I experienced such freedom as to pee off of my front porch in the nude, watching the moose that would prance through the gaps between the trees. I slept when I was tired and ate when I was hungry. No laws. No hobbling social life. No false God to chokehold my desires.

By mid-May I had become quite accustomed to my lifestyle, and I had toyed with the idea of never going back. From what I had seen in society, the world had essentially ended in all forms of productivity. Progression to unity as a planet had ultimately stopped if not for a trickle of tolerance for new gender-normatives and mild drug usage. A pitiful attempt at how I thought the world should be. But living out here, on my own, everything seemed so… pure. Free. They idea of making this life permanent was enticing.

My only issue though, with living in the wilderness, was the sporadic weather. It was something I should have been accustomed to; in all reality, I was only a five-hour drive from home. Facing it with no electricity, however, was a trial that proved difficult through the icy winter and rainy spring. But summer was coming, and I hoped that the oncoming storm would be the last for a while. Careful what you wish for, right?

That night was cold. I had built a fire in the wood stove, but even my kindling was damp; nothing would burn. The wind shook the cabin like I had never felt. It was terrifying. For the fist time in a long time, I prayed for my own safety. 

This wasn’t something I did. Ever. I was raised by snooty upper-middle class parents who thought going to church and gossiping there made them better people. The idea of righteousness through religion seemed like a farce. And the God that had been presented to me clearly thought I was an unforgivable heathen because of a handful of bad choices I had made. 

But on this night, I was so filled with fear by the intensity of the winds that I pleaded quietly to the universe, begging to make it through the night. By the light of a tallow candle I had packed, I began to read my bible. Turning to the bookmark, I tried to focus my eyes on the book of Hebrews. My sight adjusted as I read a line concerning the nature of angels and salvation. 

I didn’t get much further before chaos erupted. It all seemed to happen at once. There was a crash above me, and I thought a tree had fallen on my cabin. Then a bright, burning light was visible outside the window, but I could not look at it for long. It came down like a missile, skidding into the clearing, breaking trees in its wake. Like the coward I was, I grabbed my knife and hid in the small closet, waiting and watching for something to happen, praying that if I were to die tonight, that God would take me quickly. 

Then, as if on cue, the world started to grow quiet again. A voice entered my head and spoke to me softly. The sound, which wasn’t really sound at all, warmed my freezing body from the inside out. I felt its message coursing through my veins. There was a divine purpose for me; accept the truth or die. I had assumed it was the choice of mushrooms I had picked earlier for dinner. Perhaps I had misjudged the species and this was a side effect. So when I was faced with the decision, I chose the truth. Big. Mistake.

I soon realized that no, this must not be an after effect of the mushrooms, but a real-time, real-life occurrence. After consenting to the voice, I had a staggering moment of sobriety. Everything became clear. My mind was spinning with logic. But it was brief. A pale, blue-lit fog began to drift through the windows and cracks in the closet door. I lost control of my motor skills as it began to be sucked down my throat. I felt nothing but serenity, then for a moment, I blacked out. 

I don’t know how much time had passed when I awoke, but I was no longer in my cabin. In fact, I doubted I was even still in the province. Things were blurry, and my head ached profusely. From what I could make out, two people stood in front of me. One was a woman, about my age, small in stature with short black hair. The other was a man, much older and dirtier with a very forlorn face. The woman looked confused, as if she had been interrupted and could no longer make sense of things. I could relate. I tried to speak, but my throat was so dry, my words came out as a cracked whimper.

“Where… Where am I?”

Sunlight blazed through stained glass windows, figures dancing in my weak eyesight. As the room came into view, I watched the dust swirl in the rays. 

“Meredith… Ariel is gone,” the older man said, his voice surprisingly deep.

The woman--Meredith, apparently--lowered the silver dagger in her hand and moved behind me. As I tried to move, I felt my skin rub against rough rope. My hands were tied behind my back and my ankles tied to the legs of a chair. Panicked by the restrictions, I began to struggle.

“Shhh,” Meredith soothed, “I’m cutting you free.”

The ropes snapped against her blade as she released me.

“You okay?” she asked as I rubbed the raw spots on my wrists. “Sorry. We uh… we didn’t expect you.”

“I’m fine,” I mumbled, desperate for water, “just a bit thirsty.” Meredith handed me a flask.

“Here, drink this,” she said, her voice gentle, but firm, “It’s water.”

I took a sip, but ended up drinking the whole thing.

“Sorry,” I apologized, “Feels like I haven’t drank in weeks.”

“Well, that might be true,” The dirty man blurted. “I'm Castiel,” he said with a smile, coming forward to shake my hand, “but you can call me Cas.” 

It was an arbitrary greeting, but I could tell by his mannerisms he was mentally handicapped. Aspergers, maybe? Too many drugs? He just wasn't all there. I could tell the greeting was noted by Meredith in the same sense by the way she watched the interaction unfold. To be polite, I shook Castiel’s hand in response.

“Hunter Marks,” I said flatly, surprised by the firm handshake I received, “And you must be Meredith?” I asked, recalling the first words I heard Castiel say. 

Meredith nodded. She crossed her arms and paced back and forth, her petite frame curiously commanding attention.

“Hunter, what's the last thing you remember?” she asked calmly.

“I don’t know, it's all kind of fuzzy still.”

“That’s fine, anything helps,” she added with a wave of her hand.

“Well… I was in my cabin, in BC. And… Sorry,” I said, slumping in the chair, my head throbbing. I sighed, trying to recount my memories. “The last thing I remember, I was in my cabin. It was storming pretty hard, and I was tripping on some bad mushrooms I picked by accident. Then there was this… bright, blue fog seeping in. It went in my mouth, like I was a vacuum. And… now I’m here.”

Meredith and Cas exchanged a knowing glance, and it was far from comforting.

“Hunter, does the name Ariel sound familiar to you?” Meredith asked.

“No, not unless you’re talking about that kid movie.”

“No, we are not talking about a children’s film. Are you sure you don’t recognize the name?” Cas prodded.

“I don’t—-” I began, then I felt the inner-warmth from the cabin again. “Whoa. I don’t think those mushrooms have worn off quite yet.” I felt the voice echoing in my mind. 

“Hunter… Hunter!” I heard Meredith cry. I saw her grab me by my shoulders, but I felt nothing. I could not move. Everything went blurry, and then dark.


	2. Out of My Mind

This time when I awoke, I wasn’t anywhere. My location wasn’t a place. I mean, it was, but… more metaphysical. Everything was black and white. The things that moved shimmered, like a 3-D movie, sans spectacles. This place wasn’t real. Suddenly, dozens of bright blue figures stood around me in a circle.

“Who—who are you people? Where am I?” I asked, becoming fearful of what they might do to me.

“Be calm,” the voice echoed around me, “breathe.”

Obediently, I inhaled slowly through my nose, exhaled through my mouth. The figures came together to form a human shape, water-like and mirroring my appearance.

“Wh-who are you?” I asked again, my voice frail and thin.

“Stop asking stupid questions,” the voice cooed.

Unlike how I heard the voice before, now it was clear and recognizable as sound. Male, I thought. Soft and gentle, but full of authority. Like the purr of a lion.

“What do you want?” I asked firmly.

“Ah, now we’re getting somewhere.”

“Stop talking in circles and tell me what’s going on,” I demanded.

The figure grew to tower over me.

“You, puny human, no longer have the power to command me,” it roared.  

I stood my ground.

“Tell me. Where. I am,” I responded stiffly.

The figure backed down and came to level with me.

“Look around, Hunter. You know where you are.”

I looked at the crisp, grey-scale images surrounding me. Trees. Evergreens. Pines and cedars and firs. I recognized this place. I saw a brightness off in the distance. I began to walk towards it, but the second I thought of wanting to be there… there I was. It was my cabin.

“Is… Is this a dream?” I whispered.

“No. Not exactly,” said the figure from behind me, “This is your soul.”

I spun around, but the figure was gone. When I turned back to gaze at the cabin, there they stood. I jumped back, startled. They laughed haughtily.

“Wh-wha…?” I stammered in fear.

“Stop. Asking. Stupid. Questions!” the figured roared again, taking off like a sheet in the wind. I cowered on the ground, arms wrapped around my head. I felt the figure hover over me, barely making contact. It’s touch was soothing.

“Tell them my name,” the voice hissed, “and tell them you are mine.”

I jolted awake, my eyes fluttering open. Again, I did not know where I was. I groaned, my head aching worse than before.

“Hey, looks like Mr. Sleepy-Head is awake,” an over-eager voice cheered.

At first, I thought it was Meredith, but as my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw a woman who had long blonde hair with some intense grow-out. But, her face was bright and she was smiling. I also noticed that I was in a car, and it was moving.

“Hunter, you feeling okay?” a voice said from the passenger seat. This was Meredith.

“Uhm… Yeah? No? I don’t know,” I grunted, adjusting myself in the cramped back seat. I rested my head in my palms.. “What keeps happening to me?” I asked in anguish. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. 

“We think you’re possessed by an angel,” the bright-faced driver said, tilting her head over her shoulder.

“That’s Marlee, by the way, Meredith’s good friend. She’s very straight forward,” a different voice growled from my left. It was Castiel.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. Did you say I was possessed by an… an angel?” I uttered incredulously.

“Yep! You’re a vessel of the Lord!” Marlee slurred with a hint of sarcasm.

“Oh… Oh my God, okay, let me out of this car. You’re all fucking insane.”

I was about ready to jump out of the moving vehicle when Meredith spoke. 

“Hunter, stay put,” Meredith ordered, eyeing my hands on the door handle, “Marlee, did you really have to tell him like that? You couldn’t let him down easy?” she complained. 

“We don’t got time for easy,” Marlee said flatly.

Meredith sighed and turned to me.

“Don’t worry, Hunter. You’re going to be alright.”

“But… But I don’t understand. What are you even saying?!” I asked in exasperation, “Angels aren’t even real!”

Meredith clenched her jaw and turned around, staying silent for a moment.

“Oh how I wish I lived in your illusion,” she sang.

Cas scoffed loudly, crossing one leg over the other.

“Mer, stop lying. Not to disturb your illusions, Hunter, but you are wrong,” he said, “Angels are as real as you and me. But mostly me, I mean, only a month ago I had my wings, my smiting powers… But I fell prey to my emotions and now I’ve fallen. Useless as a sack of water and tissue. Thank goodness I have a full functioning brain and access to the angels communication frequency—-it’s not accessible by humans, not yet anyways.”

“Cas, I know I can be a bit blunt, but really? You’re scaring the poor guy,” Marlee defended, pulling into a gas station convenient store. 

“Holy shit… I… I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Dude, I know we’re throwing all of this at you at once, but please, not in the car. Meredith, open his door.”

I tried to control my gullet as Meredith pulled the lock on my door. Just as I fumbled the handle and forced against the hinges, up came… nothing. I fell out onto the concrete, dry heaving in the parking lot for what seemed like an hour. Marlee and Meredith had gone inside and came out with armfuls of groceries, clearly unconcerned with my wellness. Cas however, watched me quietly from his side of the car the entire time. 

“Fascinating,” he said softly as Marlee and Meredith set groceries on the slick black roof. I laid on the ground, motionless, staring up at the sky in agony.

“C’mere buddy,” Marlee comforted, hoisting me up and putting a bottle of water in my hands. “Sit and drink this,” she instructed, leading me to the curb about twenty feet away. 

I sat, and Marlee sat next to me. I downed the water in about ten seconds.

“Hunter, right?” Marlee asked.

“Yeah,” I said, taking a breath.

“Hunter, I know this kind of stuff is freaky, and it makes absolutely no sense. Trust me. I do this for a living, and even sometimes I’m just like, blown away.” She paused, glinting in the sunlight as if she were pondering something. Which it turns out she was. “See that dirty guy over there?” Marlee continued, nodding in the man’s direction, “That’s Cas. He used to be an angel. He says he lost his wings trying to save the world. And my friend over there hunts demons because her mother was killed by one… What I’m trying to say is that we know enough about this business to help you. But only if you help us, too.”

It was all just too much. Angels? Demons? Saving the world?

“I think I’m going to be sick again,” I mumbled, hanging my head between my knees. Nothing came up, but I felt a little better.

“Look, I know it’s a lot to take in, but trust me, with us? You’re a hell of a lot safer than if you were alone.”

Marlee’s words were calming. She had clearly been through a lot and was well adjusted to whatever was going on.

“You said you needed me to help you?” I asked, lifting my head.

“We need to know the name of the angel that’s possessing you.”

I stared at my empty bottle of water, then at the puddle on the ground. My reflection was different than I had last seen myself. My hair had grown longer, and my beard covered my face. I was wearing the same clothes I had been that night in the cabin. How long ago was that? I probably smelled like a trash can, too. Not the best way to attract the ladies. But I needed to focus. My reflection. The words from the figure in my dream echoed in my mind.

“I think… I think his name is Ariel,” I said at last, “I think he’s a little possessive.”

“Oh yeah? And why do you say that?” Marlee asked.

I just looked at her, but she was sincere in her question. I guess she wanted to make sure I was actually possessed or… whatever. Not just high as balls.

“Well, at first I didn’t know. But last night, he spoke to me—-“ I paused. If I was possessed by an angel, my experience probably wasn’t last night and it probably wasn’t the dream I wanted it to be. I continued anyways. “He said to tell you my name, and tell you I am his. The only reason I came up with a name was because I heard your friends talking about him when they found me.”

There was a moment of silence before Marlee spoke.

“You woke up during the interrogation?”  she asked, eyes widening in surprise.

Again, I just stared at her. I wasn’t sure if she was being compassionate, or was completely ignorant to the mess I was in. Then again, I’d only known her for a total of maybe 45 minutes. I’m sure I hadn’t given the best first impression either.

“Anyways, you’re sure it’s Ariel?”

Remembering the horrifying yet calming ending of my encounter, I nodded my head solemnly.

“Positive,” I answered, looking Marlee straight in the eyes. 

For as soft and fragile as she seemed, her eyes were hard, glossy with hope and fear. It was beautiful, yet unsettling. I wasn’t sure what to do with her prominent concern.

“Marlee! We have a problem.”

Cas was now standing in front of us, softly trembling with fear.

“Cas, what’s…” Marlee began, but trailed off as soon as he saw Meredith walking toward us.

Her demeanor was fluid as she sauntered. Poles apart from the straight-laced Meredith I had briefly witnessed before. Then I realized she was looking at me with a smoldering stare.

“Val!” Marlee warned, standing up, “What are you doing here? You said you’d stay away for good.”

“I don’t think your new compadre can be trusted,” Meredith slurred, “Ariel must be extinguished. Deep down… you know that.”

Suddenly, Meredith’s expression shifted from sensual to sadistic. 

Marlee jumped to get between her friend and me. Meredith flung her through the air into Castiel who crumpled under the weight of the tall girl. The two laid in a struggling heap as Meredith came towards me, a silver dagger in hand. Her eyes flicked black and flames exuded from her being. It was so hot, I covered my face. I could feel her towering over me, the immense heat from her power a bit more than discomforting. 

“Meredith, please!” I begged, backing up to the wall of the convenient store. 

“Valefar! No!” Marlee screamed.

“Meredith can’t hear you,” she hissed at me, “You deserve this.”

I saw the shadow of her lift the blade, bringing it down swiftly. If it wasn’t over yet, it would be soon. 


	3. Control Freak

I saw the world in a new light. Wider frequencies echoed in my ears. It was the greatest movie I had ever seen. Pan out. Zoom in. Marlee’s elegant hands grip tight around Valefar’s. Words of anguish and strength are spoken.

“Val! Stop it,” Marlee commands, struggling against the demon, “Meredith, this isn’t you.”

Valefar swings her arm back, making Marlee stumble. Marlee uses her momentum and throws a powerful swing at the demon’s jaw. Crumpling to the ground in an act to draw Marlee closer, she jabs an elbow into her human opponent’s nose. Once again, the eyes flick black and fire emanates from every pore and follicle. Eye level with Meredith. Or is it Valefar? No, definitely still Valefar. The view has spun. Her back’s against the wall now. Shadows of bony, bat-like wings are visible. Suddenly, there is more light. And… warmth?

“Ariel?” I hear Marlee cry out.

This is where my movie ends and my nightmare truly begins. I watch the world change colors. I watch as my hands reach out before me, battling Valefar for the chrome blade. I watch as I win, stabbing Meredith in the leg. Smoke expunges from every orifice, suffocating. And try as I might, I cannot look away. Just as I could not stop myself from grabbing the blade. Just as I could not stop myself from killing Valefar. 

“Ariel, what did you do?” Marlee asks in agony, running to her friend’s side as Meredith lies presumably dead on the ground.

_Marlee! I’m sorry!_ I shout, _Please, I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t me!_ But my words are wasted air. If it is even air I was breathing.

“Ariel, you have to help her.”

“But what is my gain?”

My voice, but not my words. 

“Anything, what do you want?” she begs, holding her tiny friend in her arms.

“My wings. Like every other fallen brother and sister. Castiel,” Ariel speaks to the human cowering by the small black Jeep, “I wish you all the safety I can grant. I am sorry for your misguidance, my brother.”

And with that, more darkness surrounds me.

 


End file.
